I read this quote this morning:
I think when you're young you should be a lot with yourself and your sufferings. Then one day you get out where the sun shines and rain rains and the snow snows and it all comes together.
- Diana Vreeland
I loved this very much because it resonates with how I think about growing up and what it was like for me. As I near the end of my 20s, I spend so much time deciding what is truly adult. What looks adult? What feels adult? What looks adult from the outside? I don't want to spend time listening to music that breaks me open or reading books that hammer at my heart right now. I want to write a grocery list and do something nice for my sister who hurt her leg. I want to appreciate the sunny fall afternoon in an appropriate way.
Not that you have to be grown up to appreciate the sun and snow. There were plenty of Sundays in my earlier years where I sat in a park all afternoon and drank up the sun, but, maybe, I felt alone or sad. That was probably because I was hung over and also because I can't seem to get over myself. It should be just as Diana describes it, then one day. Just, one day, it's all different.
Hopefully it's still to come. No more sitting in the stink of woe-is-me, but not at home in the way of the world all the time either. Somewhere in the middle.